The Stylish Vegan

Well, sort of. You see, Vegan Nation, as the geopolitical winds continue to blow strongly with our inept government further pissing off the Russians, TSV thought he would check out the Russian propaganda side of the story. So as any knowledge seeking individual would do, I went right to the source; the Russian Pravda.

Now aside from upbeat and uplifting headlines like, “Russia may strike nuclear blow on Poland in case it deploys US Patriot missiles” and “War in South Ossetia may trigger new outburst of US-Russian rivalry”, TSV found this gem, “Vegetarianism proves to be perversion of nature”.

Complete with an odd accompanying photo;

the article begins with the line, “Vegetarians can be referred to as true fanatics”. And it only gets better from there VegHeads. “Some may say that there is enough protein in vegetables (beans, for example). True, but recent studies show that vegetable protein can be digested only with the help of its animal analogue.” Are you fucking kidding TSV?!

Believe me, I could quote this story all day, it’s unbelievably bizarre, but please go read it for yourselves. After reading TSV advises that you may want to see a doctor immediately since you will discover that you are dying of an endless list of health issues. But wait! There’s more!

Whilst there, take a look at some of the other vegetarian/vegan stories that Pravda is so obsessed with. Other articles drop such gems as “The specialists concluded that those eating a lot of pickled tofu have a lower brain activity.” Wow, The Stylish One better stay away from all those pickled tofu products I’m so fond of!

And of course this from still yet another article, “Children born into a family of vegetarian parents are shorter than children of non-vegetarian parents, they usually suffer from anemia and a deficiency of calcium and vitamins.” Is the Russian meat lobby really this strong?

But hands down, TSV’s favorite quote from another well-written article, (well actually there are many faves but this one is superb) “A lot of celebrities and public figures become vegans when they feel that they have had and accomplished all they could in life.” There it is, kids – the ultimate reason for going vegan! We’ve accomplished all we can in life so obviously there’s no where else to turn except to veganism. Suddenly I feel so good about myself!

Ok, Vegan Nation, there you have it, a freaky display of misinformation brought to you by “experts” and “specialists” of Russia. And they really want us to believe they’re the good guys?

Before heading out for the weekend, TSV was sent an email regarding fashion, yes, we do talk about that still, from Kevin regarding his new company The Vegan Collection. In addition to putting out affordable, animal-friendly shoes, Kev et al. donate 25% of all proceeds to organizations that are advocates for animals. Awesome!

Aight – have a great weekend all!

Vegan Nation, as I’m sure you all know by now, the darling of talk tv, the princess of self-help, yes, Ms. Oprah Winfrey (I guess I didn’t realize She even had a last name), became a vegan…short term. You heard TSV correctly, a vegan!

Seems Oprah, a long time reader and supporter of The Stylish Vegan, (alright, not really) decided after speed reading, yes, a self-help book about cleansing her body (get that image out of your head now!), she decided to jump head first into an animal-friendly diet. And, VegHeads, The Stylish One is tres impressed.

Not one to miss an opportunity to bring more attention to herself, O, as we insiders are allowed to address her, is keeping a blog of the momentous occasion, known to her legion of screaming suburbanites as the 21-Day Cleanse. And, if that weren’t enough to wet your tailored underpants, she is even publishing all of the recipes on her site. Wow! Veganism gone mainstream America – who’d ever of thunk?

While this is all admirable to TSV, there is a wonderful opportunity here as well. Just think, more attention brought to veganism, more attention to non-abusive style, more attention to, you got it, The Stylish Vegan! How sweet is that, Veganistos?!

And our queen of couch potato syncophants, should be made aware of this push toward style and fashion that, I’m guessing, Ms. O, has no idea even exists. Just think of the possibilities! TSV makes an apparence on the show, with incredible fanfare, dressed impeccably in a jaw dropping display of sartorial vegan-ness. First comes the book deal, second, the film, the obligatory sequel and finally, the weekly show on The Style Network!

We can do this, Vegan Nation! Let’s get Ms. Winfrey to not only cleanse her holiest of bodies with a vegan diet, let’s pursuade her to veganize her entire wardrobe. Sure it’s one thing to give up meat and dairy and liquor….whoa, she gave up liquor too? – that’s beyond TSV’s comprehension. But to change a diet with a personal chef is one thing, to change your entire wardrobe, now we’re talking – that’s fucking heroic!

Ok, kids, here’s your link to contact the show. Let our wonder woman know about the joys of non-slaughterable fashion. If we join together in this crusade, The Stylish Vegan will be a household name in a matter of minutes. What are you waiting for?! My future fame is on the line!

And for a quick VegNews Frivolous Vegan of the Day, TSV brings you this, Kim Kardashian:

When a non-talent hosebag who is a celebrity for no reason other than pathetic moron’s need to worship shitty trash like this, proudly struts around in this tee, TSV wants to go out and drive around the block non  stop 100 times while throwing styrofoam containers out the window. Give me a fucking break!

The Stylish Vegan’s pleas to the world gods – Please, please get colder for a few consecutive years so we can officially put this bullshit to rest and not be subjected to another celeb on a shopping trip telling us not to harm the planet. That’s all TSV needs. Please??

Hey, Vegan Nation, years after departing, not so dearly, with the propane-leaking, meat blood-soaked CharBroil grill, The Stylish One has adopted a new member to the, oh so wondrous, vegan household. Ladies and gentlemen, TSV presents to you the Weber Q:

Isn’t it just darling? After years of struggling with veggie kabobs in a grill pan that was insanely impossible to keep clean, TSV dove back into the world of propane-induced charring. I have Tofurky on speed dial now. Keep those Beer Brats coming, kids!

But we all know that grilling is more than just tasty treats from Turtle Island Foods (really?) so TSV is gathering up every super-scrumptious, non-animal concoction imaginable for my lovely new friend. And where better to go for delicious vegan fare? Silly question – why our dear friend Susan from Fat Free Vegan, of course.

Although a darling of VegNews, through no fault of her own, Susan has some superbly, mouth-watering, kick-ass grill cuisine. TSV is jumping up and down like a giddy little veganite at the culinary prospects!

VegHeads, we all know that grilling is not just about the food. TSV says it’s probably 30% food, 70% style. What you wear, in my incredibly humble but extremely important opinion, makes or breaks the BBQ. Who’s really going to care about the food when the host is looking like he just stepped out of a vegan, summertime GQ spread?

Ok, now that The Stylish Vegan is equipped with the essentials, it’s time to go shopping. I will, rest assured, keep you updated on my Weber Q Grillin’ Attire, as it’s officially known, throughout the season. Until then, I’m heading to the market to pick up some corn and veggie burgers and to this thing in action!

Vegan Nation, our dear friends at PETA, report to The Stylish One, ok, and to anyone else who happened to visit their site, that Pam Anderson’s ex-nemesis and greatest of pals, KFC, have decided to put a vegan chicken patty on their menu…In Canada. Oh. Why is it the progressive fast food stuff always seems to happen in more enlightened countries?

So check this out:

Yes, there it is, VegHeads, in all it’s super-secretive, 11 herbs and spices, breaded glory. Seems the Colonel himself sanctioned this wonder from the great hen house in the sky. Of course it’s slathered in slimy mayo on an egg laden bun as to not make KFC seem too far out on the fringe. But, hey, who cares? The patty itself is actually vegan. Hell Boca can’t even make that claim.

TSV is a product of the ghetto and I certainly appreciate my sodium saturated fast foods when possible. Take the mayo off and throw it into a wrap and presto, instant deliciousness!

There are many here among us in our vegan minority who don’t feel it necessary to support chains that basically slaughter zillions of animals every day. Ah, but au contraire, Veganistos, the opposite is quite true. The more you support these corporate geniuses by actually buying their veggie products, the more apt they are to expand their nonviolent offerings. Funny how that works

So get your ass to Canada pronto and grab one of these marvels of the modern fast food world. Hell, TSV may make the 140 mile drive up to Vancouver just for that reason alone, well, that and the shopping. Ok, I’m going for the shopping but if somewhere along the road a vegan chicken sandwich clucks at me, I’m all over it.

Thank you, Harland! I always knew behind the chicken factory farming you were a vegan at heart.

Hey, Vegan Nation, TSV has an entire backlog of vegan golf shoes to address but food trumps the night. Let’s start with a photo of an asswipe:

Doesn’t get any more idiotic than that dude. TSV couldn’t be happier to have nothing, nada, not a thing in common with this pinhead carnie. But, VegHeads, we can always forgive non-caring carnies for their narrow mindedness when it comes to compassion; they don’t know any better, poor little babies. Remember, you can’t be angry at ignorance.

Yet, TSV has not the least bit of love toward those jackasses who call themselves “vegetarians” yet have no conception of the true meaning of the word and what it implies. Animal torture = fine, pass the queso. Animal killing = Oh, god no!! You get the wishy-washy picture.

Mmmm….we’ve been down this road before: It’s perfectly delectable to inflict constant pain and suffering upon an animal, actually quite tasty, but to murder and put it out on our egotistical dinner plate is unacceptable.

Get to the fucking point, Stylish One, I’m tired. Calm down, VegNews addict, I’m almost there. Here’s the pinnacle of stupidity in the ambiguous world of “vegetarianism”. We all know the bullshit, “I can’t give up eggs and cheese” that puts them at a subpar carnie level but TSV has found the cream of the oxymoronic, trust fund kid fad, crop. It lives in a “vegetarian” chef who must “taste” his meat creations.

Are you fucking kidding The Stylish Vegan? Really, how asinine is can you be? Hey, money-making, greedball “chef”, if you really want to be compassionate toward animals, maybe you shouldn’t be serving them skewered on an imported platter with a $20 per entree fucking smile on your smug face.

Life lesson, Vegan Nation, you are either a person of principle or a poseur who seeks nothing but a dime or two until the parents croak and your life on Easy Street kicks into full gear. We know where Chef Slimeball resides.

TSV fights daily to bring respect to veganism through fine fashion and style. This is what makes us heard and recognized as human beings who seek compassion. We don’t need a fucking pseudo vegetarian chef perputating the myth of “just pick the meat out” while wearing his Republican washed cargo shorts. We need strength, dedication, love and a burning desire to help out our underpriveleged and poorly respected animal friend.

What we don’t need are more “pretend” vegetarians who believe that they should ignore the slaughter and pain and put their faith in the shady, Rumsfeldian world of unaccountability. It’s convenient when cash money is the motivation. Just ask our “meat spitting-out-vegetarian chef; “If I could kill the cat and make a buck, I’d surely justify that too – assuming I would spit fluffly out, of course.”

Enough already. Good night kids. Maybe tomorrow the world will wake up vegan….are you fucking killing me?

Well, Vegan Nation, it’s been a while. Sorry about that but your hero was suffering from the effects of a virus that attacks the weak in their most vulnerable moment. You may know this ass-kicker as the flu. Yes, VegHeads, it seems that days of little sleep, much ingestion of food and alcohol, left TSV in the cross hairs of hideous little bug.

As you know it was MSV’s Big Birthday Bash last Saturday and quite an event it was. There was sailing, food, sparkling wine, dancing, more food, more sparkling wine, starting early in the day and ending in the very wee hours of Sunday morn.

The decorations were hung at the Vegan Estate early on the Big Day. Disco balls, balloons, tracer music lights, you name it. All adding to the festive atmosphere of this important day.

Later, the two sailboats full of our dear, dear friends met in a cove off Bainbridge Island, were tied together and the party officially kicked off. Of course, this is when the food and drink consumption shot into high gear.

A small portion of the food spread back at the late night affair. Veganistos, it was a fab compromise of vegan and other stuff that most of the population of this country seems to eat. It was all catered by the local co-op so at least the animal parts were organic. All said, it was about 50% vegan and scrumptious.

And no party is complete without sensational vegan, yes, vegan, brownies. MSV’s special request for her day being distributed by TSV to the large gang that had gathered that eve.

Vegan Nation, The Stylish One is back – well, almost. About 60% as I write this. But hey, beats the hell out of puking all day.

You know, The Stylish Vegan never likes to admit to being sick. The moment I do, I get the carnies coming out in droves to tell me it’s my diet that left me vulnerable. Well, Meat Nation, it ain’t. TSV doesn’t get sick very often and never this sick. I don’t care what you eat, when you spend endless hours hosting parties, drinking, skipping regular meals for snacks, drinking some more, and then drinking even more, odds are you’re opening your immune system up to any viral thing that’s in the room. So don’t give TSV your shit, ok!

We’ll be back on track in the next couple of days with all sorts of new fashion and style tips. Until then, wish TSV well, I’ll truly appreciate it.

But I must leave you with an installment of the VegNews Frivolous Celeb of the Day. Today’s asswipes are actually a group; sportswriters/sportscasters.

It seems that this slugger, Prince Fielder, not only hit 50 home runs last season but decided to become a vegetarian in the past off season. Having seen a PETA vid on animal farming and abuse, he went cold Tofurky.

Here’s the problem; since the season began he hasn’t hit a single ball out of the park. This seems to have led the jackasses known as sportswriters (a bullshit job if there ever was one) to blame his lack of power on becoming a vegetarian. Here’s a challenge to all you douche bags; walk up to this man and tell him to his face that he should eat a cheeseburger. You’ll get a first hand look at his power as he kicks your sorry ass over the center field fence. Keep it up, Prince, you’re the man!

Vegan Nation, The Stylish One is wrapping up a whirlwind of travel and heading back the oh so vegan-friendly Emerald City. This leg of the journey took me to Chicago for a work related art event. Yes, I really do have a real job. Although it was for work, TSV welcomed the chilly air of this midwestern mecca after the Global Warming Experiment that concluded last Wednesday.

Probably the last thing that comes to mind when the Second City is mentioned is vegan restaurants. I mean this is the home of the slaughter house. It almost seems like the kill cows around here just for the hell of it. Steak joints sickly adorn almost every corner and when you run out of cow flesh, Porky Pig is waiting for the carnies to tear his ribs out and suck the sinewy meat from his bones.

But, Veganistos, your hero knows this city well. TSV has dug throughout this Middlewestern killing machine and has found some of the best vegan restaurants in the country. Yes, I did say, best in the country. First up, The Chicago Diner.

A dream come true for The Stylish Vegan. The Diner isn’t an option when in Chicago, VegHeads, it’s a must. Boasting the slogan, “Meat Free Since ‘83″, how could you not love it. I guarantee you, gang, and I don’t guarantee much as you know, you will find unparalleled pies and cakes in addition to the fab food fare at this comfortable establishment. Comfort foods made veganistic. Yum Mee.

The second on the “must eat at or why bother to go to Chicago in the first place” vegan joint is Karyn’s Cooked.

Although you would never know it from their website (come on, Karyn, get with the program), this is a really kick-ass place. Very tastefully decorated, the cuisine is to die for. 100% vegan, 100% awesome. Their vegan pizza is fabu and my enchiladas verdes stuffed with garlic mashed potatoes…unreal.

Now it’s homeward bound for The Stylish Vegan. And you all know what that means; more sensational vegan fashion, food and lifestyle gems, more often. You’re welcome.

Well, Vegan Nation, it’s been a while since we’ve had an installment of the VegNews Frivolous Celeb of the Day. Turning to our favorite feeder of silly “green” celeb gossip, ecorazzi.com, and we are immediately hit with none other than the King of Klimate Change; Al Gore.

Apparently the ex-VP and inventor of the internets, is on 60 Minutes this week spouting off about the climate again. In reference to man-made (and I really emphasize the “man-made” part) climate change, Alberto says, “I think that those people are in such a tiny, tiny minority now with their point of view, they’re almost like the ones who still believe that the moon landing was staged in a movie lot in Arizona and those who believe the world is flat.”

Look, the world’s getting warmer, we get it. And guess what, once it gets fucking unbearably hot and we’re all gone and melted into goo, it’ll get cold again. Frozen ice cap covering this continent kind of cold. Always has, always will. Why do we treat this man as some kind of genius when kids in elementary school understand that?  I wonder how much Money Bags Al stands to make when his hedge fund begins trading mega carbon credits. It’s a perfect scenario and Mr. Gore stands to profit very, very handsomely. I want in on some of that action!

Vegan Nation, The Stylish Vegan and MSV have witnessed firsthand what awaits our wonderful human race in the broiling future of natural global climate change. And I gotta say, it ain’t so bad. Lay your worries aside, the inevitable interglacial period looks, well, pretty goddam enticing.

VegHeads, this eagerly anticipated melting of the remainder of the glacial period, will bring us to glorious fertile green lawns with waterfalls and ponds and swimming pools and spas and gorgeous vistas. This is the future; TSV witnessed it with my own beautiful green eyes. Start your Hummer engines ladies and gents, anything you can do to hasten the arrival of this Utopia is fine by me.

Base camp in lovely Palm Springs was chosen based upon the strict criteria of this rugged endeavor. And I’m happy to say, after days of exhaustive research, the epicenter of the experiment was none other than the El Rancho Lodge in the heart of the futuristic inferno. Fortunately, for TSV and MSV, this relaxing and comfortable establishment came complete with our new dear friend of The Stylish Vegan; Robert. Taking it upon himself, he led us through the dizzying beauty that is our certain future. Unfazed by the looming “threat” he bravely directed us to the multiple pools of soothing water that seem plentiful in the coming eons.

But that’s not all, Veganistos, this coming cyclical crisis had us foraging for vegan food; and I must admit, TSV had no problems finding meals in this fab rendition of global warmth. Leading the way was the completely vegan joint, Native Foods.

Why do we have to await the future when this amazing restaurant could be filling our animal-friendly bellies before all the ice melts. I love this place. Really. If you are fortunate enough to live near one of these yummy cafes, frequent it often.

The Stylish One, accompanied by MSV and a few carnies, spent two wonderful afternoons researching the positive aspects of the non killing cuisine in this test tube environment. The chicken burger, tacos, the wraps, the noodles all made us want to run our cars all day for no reason other than to quicken this natural phenomena to experience this food daily.

And of course, Veganoids, there were the extremely carnie restaurants that went out of their way to make TSV’s peek into the future as enjoyable as possible. At Copley’s I was served an unrivaled seared tofu with vegetables at Cary Grant’s historical and stunning estate. Thai Smile was all too eager to throw the oft-used fish sauce into the recently melted ice caps and created tasty vegan treats. Of course, there were many others with various versions of homemade and microwaved frozen veggie burgers for yours truly at other joints.

Mission accomplished, Vegan Nation! The unstoppable climate change is not only nothing to concern your collective pretty heads, but something to look forward to with pee-your-pants anticipation. Not only was the expedition a roaring success, it left TSV pining for this incredible fate that awaits us.

And any anxieties The Stylish Vegan may have had regarding the wardrobe in this sizzling paradise, were laid to rest by the oh so fabulistic outfits that adorned my lean bod so handsomely. Vegan Nation, an exciting future awaits us. I have seen it and experienced it. Now go out and get your global warming attire and know that soon you will be sipping sparkling wine poolside until Mother Earth decides to throw those hideous glaciers at us once again.

Ok, ok, Vegan Nation, by the time you all read this St. Patty’s Day Pt. 2 has ended. The Stylish One must admit though that is was one confusing weekend. As you are all aware, my ex-dear friend the Pope, changed this year’s celebration to Saturday since Monday, today, is some Holy Week nonsensical feast day, blah, blah, blah. Of course, nobody really knew when to actually pay homage to our dearly departed saint so what we ended up with was a watered down version of the usual drunken beer fest that ravages the nation. Oh well.

The good news, VegHeads? We get to celebrate twice! I love you Mr. Pope – you’re the shit! So as TSV sits and sips my Irish beer, I felt some Vegan Props had to go out to our darling friend, Susan, at fatfreevegan.com. You see, Veganistos, Susan, who won the Editor’s Pick, Blog of the Year at VegNews, had…what? Oh, that’s right some carnivorous gossip site won the world renowned award. Susan won the Reader’s Pick Blog of the Year. Sorry for the digression, where was I? That’s right, I was bestowing Stylish Vegan Points upon fatfreevegan.

While all the carnie’s in the New World were stuffing their fat faces with dyed animal flesh, Susan took it upon herself to veganize an old standard; Corned Beef and Cabbage.

You can find this delectable recipe here. TSV admits, I haven’t tried this fab dish yet but everything I make from Susan’s site pretty much kicks ass. I can’t see why this would be any different.

As we all know, Vegan Nation, since it’s been beaten into us since birth, we should wear something green on St. Patty’s. No, this is not a license to go out in a hemp shirt and Birkenstocks – it ain’t that kind of “green”. We’re talking color here not “save the planet from global warming” unfortunate outfits. Personally, TSV opted for a tasteful dark green v-neck sweater over a crisp white button-down. Yes, I was the most dapper dude in the joint, did you really think anything different?

So have fun, Veganoids, celebrate, drink, eat, express your inner Irish Vegan and look great doing it. And please, please, whatever the hell you decide to wear, don’t be caught dead in this:

Excuse me while I puke! Have a stylin’ day, kiddos.

Finally, I have to insult your intelligence with another edition of the VegNews Frivolous Celeb of the Day. Today we celebrate, in tandem with our friends, ecorazzi.com, the stench of Matthew McConaughey.

This handsome, yet odoriferous, star of forgetful films, has decided he will only shower once per week to conserve water and energy. You gotta be fucking kidding The Stylish Vegan. You’re not? This jackass is serious? He really hasn’t worn deodorant in 20 years? Yikes! Keep this stanky bastard away from my sensitive nose at all costs. Jesus fucking Christ, what gets into the head of these moronic “celebrities”?

Matt, shower daily and put on some nice animal-friendly deodorant. Really, just do it. I know you think you’re some cool bad-ass but your stench is vomit-inducing. For the love of mankind, just do it. TSV will make you a deal, I will not irrigate my lawn just so the “water savings” can be used toward your much needed cleanliness. Deal? I knew your smelly ass would come around!

Vegan Nation, tonight The Stylish Vegan brings you the third installment of the insanely, wildly popular series, Fake-Meat-O-Rama! Hey, you ask, your humblest of veganistic servants delivers. That is what I’m here for; to make sure you, VegHeads, are aware of all that is fab veg in the world of fashion and style. And to be a stylin’ veganoid, you gotta know what to eat, no?

Tonight we talk chicken, as in faux. This seems to be a very well populated category in the world of fake flesh. Even more so than burgers, statistics show. Alright, I made the stat thing up, but it seems that way. Maybe it’s because of versatility or maybe a bizarre twist on those who abhor burgers but continue to eat chicken which leads them to these products. TSV knows almost everything but this falls into that 3.5% category of “I dunno”.

Let’s start with The Stylish One’s absolute fave; Herb Crusted Cutlets from recently Kellogg acquired Gardenburger.

These little treasures rock, Veganistos, big time. I use them for sandwiches, chicken parm, breaded chicken in wine sauce, etc., etc. Fry these babies up in a little olive oil and the drooling starts. And get this, kiddos, when Gardenburger changed the recipe a couple of years ago and added egg whites, TSV raised Holy Hell. Along with other Herb lovers, we affected change. Yes, you do owe this taste sensation’s vegan availability to your hero. You’re welcome.

But it doesn’t stop there with Gardenburger, they’ve got a couple of other products that TSV consumes quite frequently:

Both nice selections in their own right. I prefer either of these in the sandwich form with lots o’ veggies and a nice bun. Although, the Chik’N Grill I’ve been known to season up a bit and throw in a tortilla for a quickie burro.

Next, from Health is Wealth, Buffalo Wings. The Stylish One craves these. This treat is reason alone to know the BMW God is looking out for all us vegans. Problem is, I can’t find them in Seattle goddammit! BMW God, please send TSV a miracle and find an outlet that will sell these to us Emerald Citizens.

More accessible in the Health is Wealth world of faux clucker products are two similar tasting items that seem to have a love/hate relationship among diners. Guess where I stand. Love ‘em! MSV on the other hand, hates them. Really.

TSV likes to take either of these products, microwave them, chop them into pieces and throw into a tortilla with cheese, lettuce, tomato and salsa. One of my favorite lunches ever. But heed the warning above; you may love them or, for some strange incomprehensible reason, you may hate them.

Lest we forget our Boca amigos, there are some pecker products that I enjoy on occasion.

All have great flava but can be a bit greezy at times. Oh, and another word of caution when selecting your Boca faux fowl, the brown box, or organic, versions of these are not vegan. Odd. Go figure.

Aight, now THE most versatile of all the fake chicks; strips. Man, I could go on with recipe after recipe for using these diddies; fajitas, chicken paprikash, chicken tequila fettuccine, an so on. TSV has a book full of chicken strip recipes to die for. Just ask MSV.

From LightLife and, yes I know I trashed them a few days ago, Morningstar Farms:

These things are so handy for a wide variety of meals and they’re quite flavaful. I pretty much substitute them in any chicken recipe from our world or the obtuse carnie planet. Great protein packed, low-cal goodness, Vegan Nation, that’s what TSV is talking about. Check out Trader Joe’s too. They have a strip version that’s very nice. I just made a chicken and asparagus stirfry in black bean sauce just the other night with these. I know, I know, I’m pretty fucking amazing. Thanks.

Finally, as if you ever wanted this to end, there are many chicken-like substances to be found in many hardcore Asian markets. They’re usually marked pretty well with ingredients but TSV’s gotta warn ya, they can be quite interesting.

Speaking of chicken and those who consume mass quantities of the real stuff, TSV seemlessly leads you into today’s VegNews Frivolous Celeb of the Day.

It appears that Jenny Craig spokesperson-gigantus, Kirstie Alley, is starting her own weight loss program since the last one didn’t seem to take. Vegan Nation, The Stylish One is sick to death of celebrity spokesperson anything, especially when they try to tell you how to eat.  Here’s what you need to know, Ms. Porketta; become a vegan. Not only will you lose weight and actually have better health, you may give up this hocus pocus Scientology thing as well. It’s a two for one from TSV!