About 8 years ago, The Stylish Vegan was The Very Unstylish Vegetarian and in truly awful shape physically. As a testament to the idiocy of a vegetarian wishy-washy diet, my slender well-dressed frame had grown into a 225 lb. blob with high cholesterol to go along. And worse, yes worse, was that the moo moo-type fat man shirts and pleated pants amplified my depression that corrupted my fragile mind. Something had to be done, goddammit! I missed that wonderfully thin, well-dressed body that years of vegetarianism had destroyed.
Immediately TSV announced to all that would listen, and to everyone else for that matter, (I have a way of doing that) that due to the destructive nature of cow puss and chicken abortions, I was going to denounce it all for a lifestyle of veganism. When personal lard is your motivator, it was actually quite easy to make this leap. I was on a mission, like Jesus or Neil Armstrong, I was going to lose weight. Being an incredibly smart lad, as you all surely know by now, I new that diet alone wouldn’t be the complete solution; The Stylish Vegan needed a workout plan.
I pulled together some greenbacks – 300 of them to be exact – and purchased this:
Not being one to sit in front of the television, I realized that I did spend some time each day looking at the moving pictures on the screen. So instead of sitting on my ass, TSV was going to put that time to use and ride my bike to nowhere. Within a couple of weeks I had worked my way up to 40 minutes every day. Combined with my yummy new diet, I was able to drop 60 lbs. within the year. Not too shabby, I thought, but The Stylish Vegan can do better.
I surfed Mr. Internet and found some excellent floor exercises to add to my routine. Called “Combat Conditioning” it basically used modifications of old yoga strength movements. The simple addition of the Hindu Squat and Hindu Push ups, and bingo! I was happening now, baby! Another 10 lbs. gone and it was off to shop for my new wardrobe.
So here’s the kicker, gang. This ain’t that difficult. You already have the advantage with the diet, now throw in some exercising and you too will feel the amazing benefits of true health. Even if you don’t need to lose weight, the peddling and pushing will tone you and have you feeling wonderfully peachy. And the fab part for all you tube heads is you can still catch your fave show with the justification that you’re working out. No thank you cards are needed (cash, well that’s another story) but you’re welcome nonetheless.
