The Stylish Vegan

Yes, yes and yes. The Stylish Vegan is on a mission after a request from a member of some long forgotten vegan nazi board that banished my delicate ass. But holding true to a promise (nearly 75% on the promise fulfillment meter these days) made to that wonderful member of that dreadful forum, I continue forward and onward into the murky waters of men’s outerwear.

Picking up where I left off, I ventured over to BR.com to check out the offerings. Seriously, these guys should be sending me packages of free product since I alone have kept this company out of Chapter 11. But enough of that, I like the stylish big brother of The Gap for the reason that the clothes fit me perfectally. And, the majority of the time, look pretty damn nice.

A quick check into the foyer closet, revealed that TSV already possesses two winterized man-made coats from BR. Who knew? Actually, Mrs. Stylish Vegan knew and raised an eyebrow with that look of “Why the hell are you looking at more winter coats when you have some perfectly good ones right here?” Good question, but an equally good answer. “Darling, it’s all in the name of research. I’m doing it for the kids.” After an eye rolling and head shaking from my beloved, I was back at the keyboard. This is serious business, folks, serious fucking business.

Anyway, here are some new selections from the Big Banana:

A nice Peacoat on a Johnny Depp-looking fellow.

A very fine 100% cotton heavy topcoat. Remember, kiddies, never wear a topcoat that hangs below the knees. Go to the grave with that one and you’ll be a happy corpse.  Next,

A quilted number on Mr. Smiley very reminiscent of one of The Stylish Vegan’s closeted coats from last season.

All of these are very affordable, tres animalistically-friendly and quite eye pleasing. But we ain’t finished here, veganoids. We have even more affordable gems from that purveyor of coats (their name gives it away) Burlington Coat Factory.  You can get your paws on everything from micro fiber to leatherette to false suede. They have a fairly decent selection and the prices cannot be beaten, gang.  As a matter of fact, TSV has a Burlington light jacket that I wear quite often, even today, for heaven’s sake! Check this out:

Suhweet! I love it and I get compliments on it constantly – fake leather and all. Ok, I know it’s a light jacket and we’re talking coats here. I get it. So what’s your point? Anyway, enough bickering, get to Burlington and check out the new outerwear offerings. You’re bound to find something. You might even walk away with this:

You guessed it – the Faux Chinchilla! How divine! But you gotta wonder, what’s that fake fur made from anyway? I don’t really want to know.

As you are all aware, The Stylish Vegan is not only allergic to cold weather but also possesses the terrifying fear of snow. By departing the Middle West early last winter, the snow phobia was all but eliminated. Sure, I can look up at it, admire it on Rainier and sleep knowing it’s up there and I’m down here. But the cold, well, it’s still around and my very life may depend upon my ability to seek out animal-friendly outerwear that’s not only functional but stylin’.

The legions of carnivores who read this blog daily with a murderous desire in their hearts, may not understand the ins and outs of vegan-happy textiles. Leather, wool, feathers/down, suede, or anything else that comes out of or off of a critter, doesn’t cut it in our happy nonviolent world (so there, killers!) That makes finding that wonderful and cozy winter coat presents a minor challenge.

Here are some rather nice choices to to don whilst running from the Bimmer to spa door:

All of the above are made from animal-less sources and these particular choices are all available at Nordstrom. Prices, you ask? Not too bad, all in the 2-4 hundred range. Certainly less than that wool number from Burberry you’ve had your vegan wish-glasses trained upon.

And this is only the tip of the iceberg (get it? Ok, I’m sorry). There are literally hundreds of choices at all price points. You can run over to your local Target or Kohl’s and find a very economically, and somewhat fashionable picks. Here are a couple in the fiddy buck range:

Ok, so they’re a little lighter weight. Remember, layering is our dear friend. And, a bubbly vest under one of these and The Sartorialist may come a-calling, or a-snapping.

So get your veganoid butts into something stylish and warm this winter. Don’t worry, I’ll keep throwing ideas at you throughout the next couple of weeks – plenty of time before the fear and hives set in.

From seemingly out of nowhere, designers have decided that this fall we should all appear as if we’re ready to go into battle wearing expensive militarialistic jackets. Suddenly it’s cool to look like a gay soldier walking the terrifyingly dangerous streets of Manhattan on your way to the club. Here’s a sampling of the selection available:

The Stylish Vegan finds this trend somewhat alarming since it already happened when I was a teenager (and a dashingly handsome one at that) in the 70’s. I had three jackets that were very similar to these that were passed along from my bro who actually did fight in a war – imagine that hipsters. That must have been one stylish platoon with all the boyz in designer duds like these. And they only had to put their lives on the line to get them. How cool!

As TSV has been shopping this late summer, I’ve viewed and tried on many versions of this warring outerwear. They all more or less resemble those above, mostly without the badges, however, and priced anywhere from $200 – $700. On one particular trip to Oslo’s A Men’s Store in Seattle, I modeled a lightweight jacket for Mrs. Stylish Vegan who loved it.  So much so, that she suggested I purchase it at $250.0 – on sale.

Ok, I was pretty much drooling over the jacket and had the stamp of approval from my darling wife. Go ahead, buy it already! But then it hit me. This “designer knock-off” was not a whole lot different from the Vietnam freebies handed down to moi back in the glorious disco era. And I was seriously considering paying two-fitty? Back on the rack it went, I knew of a better way. For all you newbies here, you’ll come to learn that The Stylish Vegan is a fucking smart dude and tremendously humble all at the same time.

Putting my vast knowledge and 45 years of experience to good use for a change, I was off to the Army Surplus store to seek out an original. This one only runs 50 bucks. 50 bucks!

Not bad at all. And if I so desire, I can even sew on some ridiculous patch that the designers felt necessary to add. TSV is just getting started. This week before still yet another trip to Minneapolton, my goal is to scour the Army Navy surplus stores in this beautiful city and come away with my truly authentic “designer” fall jacket. I’m so excited to get started, I’m throwing some military songs in the CD player, pronto, to set the mood! Good luck to me!