The Stylish Vegan

Hey, Vegan Nation, The Stylish One has been away for a while traveling. Firstly, a week long business venture then off to a vacation with MSV to the Great PNW! More precisely, the Olympic Peninsula. Not much of an outdoorsy sort of lad, (you can seriously muck up some wardrobe) TSV took a deep breath and dove right in.

How can you not want to venture into the wilderness when it looks like this?, I asked myself – really.

See what I mean? And it’s all in TSV’s backyard!

But let’s back up a bit, there was some prep involved before embarking upon a vegan journey into the remote backwoods of Washington. What would I wear? What would I eat? Why were there warnings that giant elk may be on the attack? Would TSV make it out alive?

Ok, VegHeads, since that last question still sends shivers up my spine, let’s talk gear. You need some serious elemental protection out there. Protection that TSV does not possess. Sure I have my stylish Marmot rain jacket but that’s where it abruptly stops. No hiking boots, no rain resistance paints, no expensive form-fitting jackets that say North Face on the front. No nothing.

But The Stylish Vegan didn’t let those little wardrobe issues stand in my way. So for me, it was the Saucony multi-purpose athletic shoes, BR jeans and various “rugged” sweaters. And, thanks to the Vegan Gods, the weather was insanely gorgeous so none of this really was an issue. Man, but it sure could have been. Had a storm blown in, your Stylish Dandy would have been a soaking, soggy, muddy mess. I can’t even begin to tell you how happy I am that that scenario didn’t play out.

Oh, and I forgot. See up in the title where it says, “sort of”? Ok, so we stayed in a lodge. Nothing fancy; very remote. Technically, not camping per se, but for The Stylish Vegan this was a major step in the evolution of my future stylish outdoorsman persona. Some may call it whimpy, TSV calls it heroic!

Really, now that my citiness has had a tasted of this fabulousness, I’m going to get serious about gear. And no better place to start than hiking boots. Here’s one from Garmont that seems to fit the bill:

It’s even billed as the Kiowa Vegan XCR. How can TSV go wrong? Here’s what else they say, “THE FINAL WORD: Best for anyone who wants a leather-free hiking shoe that can comfortably schlep anything up to a weekend load. ” The Stylish Vegan says “sign me up, baby!”

Alright, so there we have it, TSV’s first step into serious outdoorsiness. Who knows, this could lead to me actually sleeping in a tent, cooking outside on the fire, relieving myself in the woods – what?! Whoa, wait a second, let’s take this in really, really tiny baby steps.

Vegan Nation, MSV and The Stylish One have proposed a practice for the Apocalypse, if you will. We have taken it upon our humble selves to plunge headfirst into the potential pleasurable effects of Global Warming. After much discussion, research and soul searching, the decision to abed mankind has manifested itself into a trip to Palm Springs.

After convincing ourselves that Palm Springs represents what the overheated future holds, we took deep breaths, looked each other in the eyes and said, “Let’s do it! For the good of the species, let’s fucking do it!” Tickets have been booked and next week we embark. What the immediate future may hold, is in BMW/God’s hands – it is in Her we trust after all.

VegHeads, TSV realizes that I am taking a serious plunge into the unknown. How could I, not only subject myself to this extreme experiment, but to include MSV? That seems like pure madness! Especially with her sensitivity to heat. However, my brave, brave life partner is up for the task. And, oddly enough, is looking forward to the challenge. She is convinced that, while roughing it, the cocktails and swimming pools will help her get though.

The true anxiety in this confrontation with our planet’s fate, is your hero’s footwear. What the hell am I going to put on my feet that will hold up under such duress? Sure, I have my Van’s and Puma slip-ons from last summer, but, come on, do I really want to face this endeavor with last year’s styles?

Not to worry, Veganistos, after much searching, TSV wandered upon two candidates from our good friends at Puma that seemed up for the task:

Both would suit my dogs well, traversing the rough terrain of the Springs. But due to sizing, TSV settled upon the second pair.  Lightweight and fashionable, what more could I possibly need?

Pushing fear aside, we will do our best to research how this heat and sun could affect future generations and what “tools” may be needed to survive. TSV will keep you updated throughout, as best I can, whether it be at the poolside bar or cocktail lounge. It’s a frightening, foray into the unknown but my guess is, The Stylish Vegan will do just fine.

Four weekends, four fab cities, that’s the current life of The Stylish Vegan. What began in Portland, will take your hero and Mrs. Stylish Vegan to San Francisco, followed by Los Angeles, ending in Minneapolis. As usual, vegan nation, throughout it all, I’ll do my bestest to bring you the latest in veg fashion and food during my travels.

This weekend brings us to the beautifully stylin’ San Francisco. It’s been a couple of years since TSV has pranced through the city, so the excitement to return is electrifying. While no Seattle, (what I can’t joke with you people anymore?) S.F. holds fab shopping and the mothership of all vegan restaurants, Millenium.

Definitely on the expensive side, it’s always worth every morsel. If you haven’t been, veganistos, go, splurge, enjoy. It’s that simple. The reservations are in place, the excitement grows. I’ll definitely give you a detailed play by play apres dinner.

Then it’s down to TSV’s old stomping grounds, Los Angeles. Oh, the good ol’ days, huh? Our dear friend, Ms. Pearl, has vegan restaurants lined up to bookend her much anticipated yearly Hanukkah bash. This year’s theme, Ladke, Vodka and Borscht. This will be Ms. Pearl’s first attempt at veganizing the ladke, a chore TSV is only too willing to assist with.

It’s been about 12 years since The Stylish One has graced the streets of the City of Angels. This trip, Mrs. Stylish Vegan and myself will not only dine superbly but will also seek out some fabu wardrobe. Welcome home, Mr. Stylish Vegan!

The final weekend trip brings TSV solo to the Twin Cities for the annual company Holiday Show. No small affair, this year, veganoids, marks the sixth anniversary of this festive art event. The wine will be flowing, the art will be selling, and The Stylish Vegan will be stylin’. Yes, kids, I have some new wardrobe to break out for this soiree. Check out my latest sports jacket from BR.

It’s velvet, it’s black and it’s elegant. Why they have this jackass modeling it with his shirt untucked (SCREAAAMMMM!) is beyond me. But rest assured, gang, TSV will steal the show with this two buttoner.

So that’s my next several weekends. A lot fun mixed in with a lot of work. Don’t despair, vegheads, I won’t forget about you. Research. Let’s just all say, The Stylish Vegan has mucho research to add to his already vast knowledge of vegan couture. Kick back, relax, and look forward to some stellar posts from “The Stylish Vegan Goes National”.

Tonight we visit VegNews darling, ecorazzi.com for our VegNews Frivolous Celeb of the Day. As usual, TSV is irked with ecorazzi’s blushing and ass-kissing of anything remotely “green” celebrity. Not to mention, why is a vegan gossip site…oh, they’re not vegan? Then why the fuck did VegNews vote them the best vegan blog on the planet?! Sorry, I had to vent again.

Here’s the photo from ecorazzi’s site. Not only is douchebag Gordon Ramsay here for some “altruistic” bullshit reason but isn’t that Jamie Oliver about to stuff prosciutto, or as he says, Parma Ham, into his blabbering carnivorous mouth? Nice pic, guys. JFC!

And how about that asswipe Ramsey? Isn’t he the cutesy fella that tricked a vegetarian into eating meat on his show? What an absolute scumbag. I don’t care if he said he’s going to french kiss every chicken in the country, how could you praise this fucking moron? Once again, VegNews, maybe a little research before you gush over something so far from vegan.  Maybe next year VegNews will find IHateVegans.com so hilariously witty, that they’ll praise them the high heavens too.

Since The Stylish Vegan is sitting delayed in the airport (thank you NWA and Minneapolis weather). I’m not even there yet and The Cities are taking revenge for the “lack of style” post a couple of days ago. Try as you may, you can’t break this vegan…yet. So while sitting here, what a better time than now to talk about travel attire. Oh, the excitement! But seriously, as I look around I get the strange feeling that all of these folks are lining up to get into the rodeo with all the denim present. With the exception of a rare J-Lo pink running outfit and the stray boring suit, this joint is wall-to-wall jean. Straightleg, gang-banger, ripped, cargoesque – if you can make it out of denim, it’s all displayed in living color here.

Not this Stylish Vegan – no way! I learned long ago the importance of looking good while flying. R-e-s-p-e-c-t, plain and simple. There is a long line right now at the gate of grungy, t-shirt clad, unshaven, unkempt individuals who must surely be flying to Minneapolis to clean the toilets in the airport restrooms. Why else would they dress like this? They certainly don’t look like they’re going anywhere fun (and in all fairness, they’re not). Here’s a great quote from author David Sedaris, “Comfort has its place, but it seems rude to visit another country dressed as if you’ve come to mow its lawns.” Oh how true.

This pretty much sums it up although he would be much better in neon shorts and a fanny pack. He’ll probably wear that tomorrow after he’s used up his fancy duds.

You see, The Stylish Vegan travels with and in style. Today as I sit through Northwest Airlines’ tortuous waiting game, my outfit consists of a plain white button down shirt, black blazer, light grey cotton trousers and slip on designer Puma loafers. A very simple yet fashionable look. Believe me, I look like fucking Armani among this crowd. And without a doubt, I really stick out in this glum crowd of denimsters.

Why is this a big deal? Well, there have been many a trip where the sky bus consists of screaming, yelling, obnoxious, screeching toddlers/infants/pains-in-the-ass. Calmly, while the decibel level rises and the gate attendant is shooting eye daggers, The Stylish Vegan approaches with a smile and reassurance that it not only makes you homicidal, dear person behind the counter, we are of the same ilk. Surely, you would not want to put a well dressed man in such harms way, so a free ride in first class would suit me just fine. “Here you go, Mr. Stylish Vegan, enjoy your flight”.  Thank you, sweetie, hang in there!

I realize I’ve been beating this theme into you for some time but my stint at the airport brings it all to the fore. And, being the brilliant vegan stylemaster that I am, I feel compelled to teach this invaluable 5-part travel lesson to all lifestyles.

-Dress nicely and smile

-Dress nicely and smile

-Dress nicely and smile

-Dress nicely and smile

and finally,

-Dress nicely and smile

There’s a 50 part lesson as well but it’s pretty similar to this one, (well, pretty much identical)  only ten times longer.  Once again, you tofu munching, nonconformist rebels, class, manners and style rule the day. Meanwhile, I am stuck here staring at all your dungaree dour asses complain about missing a connection while wearing a “Fart a Day” emblem t-shirt, denim carpenter/painter/cargo shorts and Teva sport sandals (how stupid is it that something is call a “sport sandal” – what sport do you wear these things)? Gee, I wonder why the suddenly suicidal gate attendant doesn’t want to help you?