The Stylish Vegan

Vegan Nation, what a crazy, strange and increasingly stressful world we are inhabiting. All the old shit still holds true: people eating happy animals for pleasure, wearing them, exploiting them, etc. But now we are presented with an entirely new insanity as well: the world economy is in an awful, horrific, sickening situation.

Everything is getting more and more expensive and there are less and less funds to go around. People are looking for more and more ways to scrimp and save on everything. And sadly, VegHeads, food is right up there on the list. Let’s see do I pay 5 bucks for that vegan burger or head to the dreaded Value Meal?

Ok, so that really isn’t a choice for The Stylish One or the rest of you wondrously and highly intelligent folks, i.e. Vegan Nation, but it doesn’t help the cause. The cheaper the food, in this awful environment, the more They will flock to it. Fuck animal rights, I gotta eat!

But it doesn’t stop there. Unfortunately, vegan products tend to be rather costly when compared with their animal-raped counterparts. All those wonderful friends of TSV who have set up shops to cater to our animal-loving ways may face peril. It becomes increasingly difficult, veganistos, to shell out a hundred smackers for a pair of shoes these days when “the old ones will do just fine”.

And, brace yourselves, TSV hasn’t purchased a single item from BR in over six weeks! OMFG! Is this the end of the world? Calm down, already!! Of course it’s not. As a matter of fact, TSV has received some bright, shiny messages from the Vegan Nation in these tough time to let us know, our veganistic world is not only intact but thriving and continually building!

Just check this out from TSV reader Robert Black who shares my affection for the perfecto martini. Mr. Black has taken up the cause of finding a vegan vermouth. A cause, I might add, that The Stylish Vegan has not been able to make any headway in obtaining answers. Seems that Bob, we’re pretty tight now, discovered that  Noilly Prat is indeed vegan. And to think they wouldn’t even answer my emails! Asswipes! Anyway, muchismo gracias Rober Black for the presistence and for bringing some alcoholic sunshine to my day.

And a big shout out to Brittany Cooke from Toms Shoes for highlighting their new vegan shoe styles. Also, Toms partnered with Whole Foods to sell an exclusive line of Vegan TOMS, made of recycled plastic bottles and hemp, according to Ms. Cooke. Check these out:

Now, TSV has written about Toms in the past so you’re all well aware of their dedication to give a pair of shoes to a child in need for every pair purchased. That continues to be incredibly awesome! And at 40 bucks a pair, I mean, that fits our recessionary paramters; inexpensive, unique and really stylin’.

Wow, I feel so much better now! Who gives a fuck about a failing economy?! The Vegan Nation musters up the strength and support for our brethren when the situation calls for it. And now more than ever! Really, gang, TSV doesn’t want to have to hit the Value Meal!

Vegan Nation, it’s been a while but The Stylish One has been incredibly busy. MSV and I hosted family for a week, threw a massive partay, watched Blue Angels scream through the gorgeous Seattle skies and, on a more morose note, hit a poor little woman who was crossing the street with my car. More on that later.

But a horror was brought to TSV in the form of an email from long time reader, Daniel P. You see, Mr. P wrote some of the saddest words I’ve ever read in an electronic mail. VegHeads, take a deep breath and then read this passage.

“You wrote an entry saying vermouth was vegan.” Daniel wrote, “From what I understand Martini (Martini & Rossi) brand vermouth is not suitable for vegan.” What???!!! No way, Jose! Say it ain’t so, Joe! Back on the bus, Gus…ok enough of that. Anyway, after picking myself up off the floor, TSV followed Sr. P’s link to Barnivore. Sure enough, life would never be the same.

Ahh..but maybe there’s a mistake. Maybe they didn’t read his email correctly. Maybe, just maybe, it’s some strange and sickening practical joke. Time for The Stylish Vegan to dig in. Something this incredibly important, needed research. And research I did… And wept I did. Yes, Veganistos, it’s true – this vermouth is vegan.

Yes, Vegan Nation, the operable word here is this. The Stylish Vegan doesn’t give up quite so easily especially when the king of all cocktails and my consumption of it is at stake. So emails are a-flyin’. If there is a vegan vermouth, and I’ve heard that Tesco used to offer one, TSV will track it down. Until then, the flag at Rumours will fly at half mast. The Stylish Vegan’s heart is aching – but surely it’s only temporary.

And about that woman who unfortunately found herself in front of TSV’s moving motor vehicle, well, thankfully, she’ll be just fine. Who knew so many people walked in Seattle?

Well, Vegan Nation, it’s been a while. Sorry about that but your hero was suffering from the effects of a virus that attacks the weak in their most vulnerable moment. You may know this ass-kicker as the flu. Yes, VegHeads, it seems that days of little sleep, much ingestion of food and alcohol, left TSV in the cross hairs of hideous little bug.

As you know it was MSV’s Big Birthday Bash last Saturday and quite an event it was. There was sailing, food, sparkling wine, dancing, more food, more sparkling wine, starting early in the day and ending in the very wee hours of Sunday morn.

The decorations were hung at the Vegan Estate early on the Big Day. Disco balls, balloons, tracer music lights, you name it. All adding to the festive atmosphere of this important day.

Later, the two sailboats full of our dear, dear friends met in a cove off Bainbridge Island, were tied together and the party officially kicked off. Of course, this is when the food and drink consumption shot into high gear.

A small portion of the food spread back at the late night affair. Veganistos, it was a fab compromise of vegan and other stuff that most of the population of this country seems to eat. It was all catered by the local co-op so at least the animal parts were organic. All said, it was about 50% vegan and scrumptious.

And no party is complete without sensational vegan, yes, vegan, brownies. MSV’s special request for her day being distributed by TSV to the large gang that had gathered that eve.

Vegan Nation, The Stylish One is back – well, almost. About 60% as I write this. But hey, beats the hell out of puking all day.

You know, The Stylish Vegan never likes to admit to being sick. The moment I do, I get the carnies coming out in droves to tell me it’s my diet that left me vulnerable. Well, Meat Nation, it ain’t. TSV doesn’t get sick very often and never this sick. I don’t care what you eat, when you spend endless hours hosting parties, drinking, skipping regular meals for snacks, drinking some more, and then drinking even more, odds are you’re opening your immune system up to any viral thing that’s in the room. So don’t give TSV your shit, ok!

We’ll be back on track in the next couple of days with all sorts of new fashion and style tips. Until then, wish TSV well, I’ll truly appreciate it.

But I must leave you with an installment of the VegNews Frivolous Celeb of the Day. Today’s asswipes are actually a group; sportswriters/sportscasters.

It seems that this slugger, Prince Fielder, not only hit 50 home runs last season but decided to become a vegetarian in the past off season. Having seen a PETA vid on animal farming and abuse, he went cold Tofurky.

Here’s the problem; since the season began he hasn’t hit a single ball out of the park. This seems to have led the jackasses known as sportswriters (a bullshit job if there ever was one) to blame his lack of power on becoming a vegetarian. Here’s a challenge to all you douche bags; walk up to this man and tell him to his face that he should eat a cheeseburger. You’ll get a first hand look at his power as he kicks your sorry ass over the center field fence. Keep it up, Prince, you’re the man!

On a fantastic, fun-filled evening. The Stylish and Mrs. Stylish Vegan were honored to have our dearest Seattle friends turn out at Rumours for drink, food and dance last night. We’re fortunate, indeed vegan nation, to have such wonderful amigos.

I realize TSV made another ill-advised promise of posting photos of the food prepared for the evening. Imagine this, I don’t have any. That’s right, slap me right across the cyber face, I certainly deserve it for letting you down yet again. Enough with the drama already, I had a good excuse. Your darling TSV played bartender for the majority of the evening with a non-stop flow of tasty libations.

Of course Rumours is a fully stocked wonderbar but a couple of signature drinks made the menu – the House Special Margarita and Pomegranate Champagne Cocktail. Of course, long-time readers of TSV are very familiar with the Margarita that was responsible for putting Rumours on the map. But the Pom Cocktail, well this was a brand new elixir debuting on this gorgeous eve.

And it goes a little something like this, hit it:

For 8 Servings

4 cups crushed ice
2 cups pomegranate juice
1/2 cup ginger ale
1/4 cup brandy
1 750-milliliter bottle of champagne
Pomegranate seeds (optional)

Combine the first 5 ingredients in a pitcher. Pour 1 cup of champagne mixture into each of 8 glasses. Garnish with seeds, if desired.

What you end up with is an incredible cocktail, magnificent in its deliciosity. As usual, kids, make sure your champagne or sparkling wine is indeed free from animal guts. On this evening, TSV opted for a California sparkling wine for this concoction.

According to Frommars online, this Mumm Napa Prestige Brut is 100% vegan and it’s pretty cheap at 14 bucks a bottle. Perfecto for using in this tasty libation. BTW: Frommars has a Vegan & Vegetarian Pocket Guide to Wine that it offers to us freaky vegans. Bravo! Frommars! Many Stylish Vegan Points for that nice little listo.

So, kiddos, we had a wondrously happy evening where yours truly was the only vegan in the bunch. As for the food, well, there was plenty of non-meat options available but when it comes to carnies, you can’t miss with gourmet salumi and cheese.

The music has faded, the lights dimmed, all our fab friends have departed. Rocktoberfest 2007 is in the books and The Stylish Vegan can’t wait til next year!

It’s time for The Stylish Vegan’s monthly travel back to the midwestern section of our insane nation and man am I psyched! Ok, you all know me better than that but it is a great time to see old friends, veggies and carnies, visit some really good vegan restaurants and take care of my real business. So it’s not all horrible. But awful enough to make this dude crave an ice cold brew.

Dudn’t that look perty? All of you veganites who have been following this blog, waiting daily for each gem of wisdom I may spew forward, are well aware of my affinity for martinis. If you ask, what kind? Please don’t upset me, just go back and read the entry. But heading back to the snowy tundra of the middle west (actually it’s quite warm right now but don’t ruin my rant) a pint, or several, looks awfully inviting. And TSV has many, many eager beer connisseour buds who are more than willing to partake at the drop of pale ale.

Uh-oh. But wait! Not all of these wondrous suds are suitable for my imbibing. Oh my fucking god! Wha…how..wher…Relax, cowboy. It ain’t that difficult. You see, some beers and lots o’ wines are fined with animal products in a process that “acts like a magnet to extract unused yeast”, according to those asswhipes at Guinness. Some come from fish, some from charred cow bones. Sounds yummy, eh? So what’s a veganaholic to do? Well for starters go here.

These wonderful people, or rather, angels have taken upon themselves with the help of all of us hopheads, to check out which beers are actually vegan. The list is extremely encouraging and comforting. Aaahhhh, now you can relax. Of course, there are many lists out there and many dedicated drinkers looking out for our best interests but I like the interactive nature of this endeavor.

But what about wine and liquor are they…Hey, look, this is about beer right now. We’ll get to the other vices later. Just a quick tip, there are a hell of a lot of wines out there that use dead animal in the process. More on this later just in case there are any jackasses reading who prefer wine to a martini or micro brew. I know, they need help, now.

And finally, one last piece of advice from my darling self, German beers are almost certainly animalless due to purity laws handed down for generations. I love you German people post WWII! So go grab a beer or two or three or…and rest assured your best friend, The Stylish Vegan, will be with you in spirit! (Get it, spirit? Whatever.)

It’s Thursday and Mrs. Stylish Vegan is out cruising on some gargantuan sailing vessel out in the bay with her dear friends. So that leaves The Stylish Vegan to a night on our wonderful town. I’ve written before about some restaurants or another(s) that service mainly the upper levels of the meat, muscle and tendon chewing, ravenous carnivores. Dining tales have been shared that illustrate the power of vegan couture while ordering amongst the other crowd. Why is it I always assume those people are Republicans? Draw your own conclusions, please.

But tonight finds me in the comfortable drinking, eating, and, did I mention, drinking establishment, Georgetown Liquor Company. I like this joint. Even while sticking out like Snoop Dog in a Chrysler commercial (wow, now that was a really weird ad) in my fab attire, I feel comfortable here. This may come as a Richter scale shock to some but these are my peeps. No, really.

Before I get emails about how these people are dressed in fucking jeans and don’t look like they would know GQ from the New Republic, you’ll be ecstatic to know, I’m, obviously not in denim. Puhleeeaasse! So why does The Stylish Vegan hang here? Simple answer, I like to support places, especially bars, that have the balls to offer menus like this. And while they score a negative Stylish Vegan point or two for offering, God forbid, vegetarian fare, most can be made vegan by the tatooed dude at the smallish, but very clean, kitchen area. For that, and the nice selection of vegan draught beer, top points to my amigos.

That’s the point The Stylish Vegan is always pressing, pushing, shoving down your throats (but not in any way resembling fois gras); that I am here to champion the vegan cause. The mantra: dress nicely, really nicely, and people will listen to you, thus the “No thanks, I’m a vegan” line is greeted without the “get away from me you fucking freak” attitude that is prevalent out in the sinew-ingesting world, known to you and me, as the majority of people in this country. See, The Stylish Vegan isn’t a snobbish asshole all the time after all – but please don’t let that get out. Prost!

If there’s one thing that can bring a smile to The Stylish Vegan’s face, it’s a perfecto martini. Now everyone has there oh-so wonderful martini whether there’s a drop of vermouth or a splash but there are always two essential ingredients: gin and vermouth. Having perfected to my tastes, the perfect martini – a wonderful 5 to 1 shaken libation – it dawned upon me recently, is vermouth vegan? Good question, because as we all know, many wines and some beers are not vegan (or even vegetarian, as if they’d care) due to animal finings in the processing. Oh my god, could it be I’ve been drinking tainted perfect martinis all this time?! Am I going to monkfish stomach lined-infested hell??

Relax. Vermouth is a shitty wine. Apparently there’s not a pressing concern to use “centuries old techniques and recipes and blah, blah, more bullshit”. What does this mean? They use vegetable based fining. Why can’t everybody do this? Do we really need to ask? But that’s not the point. Conclusion: vermouth is fine with da fining.

With that settled, what’s the fucking deal with all these drinks that call themselves martinis? Raspberry mint martini, a lemon drop martini, a Long Island ice tea with Red Bull martini (yuck!) and so on and so on. Here’s your very simple Stylish Vegan lesson of the day: a martini is gin and vermouth, usually with one olive, never with an even number and sometimes three. There it is. Oh, but what about the James Bond vodka martini? Let me repeat, a martini is gin and vermouth. Period.

Here’s a good test, go into a bar and tell them you want Margarita. They’ll bring you some concoction of a tequila based drink. When it arrives in front of you, sniff it, sniff it again, taste it, spit it out and say “I wanted a rum margarita!!” At which point some bad-ass bouncer with really scary piercings and tats will grab you by your pathetic neck, hold you high in the air and say, “Hey, jackass, a margarita always has motherfuckin tequila.”

You get the picture. The next time you are with anyone who utters the word “martini” in reference to anything other than gin and vermouth call this guy. Cheers!