Well, Vegan Nation, MSV and I have discovered that one of our beloved gatos, Gomez, was diagnosed with diabetes last week. Yes our little Gomie of 14 years, known to all as “The Party Cat” for her love of being the Belle of the Ball while wearing her stylin’ perma-tux, has a touch of the sugar.
Of course TSV’s immediate reaction was devastation. I didn’t know much about feline diabetes so I feared the worse – for about 10 minutes. My dear friend, Mr. Internet, calmed my fears immediately and assured me that this vet’s diagnosis was by no means a death sentence for Gome. Whew!
But…insulin and home glucose testing would be part of TSV’s life for the foreseeable future. A tight schedule of shots and monitoring don’t really fit well into The Stylish Vegan’s fancy-freeness of a lifestyle. But we’re talking Gomie here, kids, so by any means necessary – to quote my dear friend, Mr. X.
Alright, I’m ready, TSV thought to myself. Let’s do some intensive research. You see, VegHeads, TSV is known for my insane obsession with research. I simply must know everything there is to know about any subject affecting my life. Within a day or two, I would be a feline diabeties expert. Yes, even moreso than Wilfred Brimley!
First thing The Stylish One discovered was to not even think of injecting my little girl without first taking her off of that high carb dry diet she’s spent her entire life devouring. The best vet and expert in feline sugar instructed me to put her on an almost zero carb, high protein diet – affectionately known as the Catkin’s Diet – how clever! No problem, just steer me toward some food and we’re on our way to low blood glucose.
Well, Veganistos, it’s one thing to feed your kitty dry food combined with some animal product that has no resemblance to actual flesh. But it’s quite another when wet food like this becomes the lifesaver for Gomie.
In case you can’t see the writing on the label, these foods are 95% meat. As in, beef, duck and venison. Here’s how the company describes it:
“To bridge the gap between what was once the ideal diet in the wild, and what science defines as an optimal nutritional profile, Natura Pet Products has developed the ideal ancestral diet: EVO.”
Vegan Nation, why do I suddenly feel like Ted Nugent? When you open these cans, gang, there’s no doubt that that’s Daffy or Bambi in the can. OMG! I’m freaking out just thinking about it! Help!
So after a bout of violent shaking and sleeplessness, TSV realized that this was without doubt the right thing to do. Cats are carnivores. They are programmed that way. And The Stylish Vegan has no right to try and force my ideals and lifestyle upon this beautiful creature of nature. (You hear that, Gome? I called you beautiful – how about that?)
The Stylish Vegan has a message to the vegan world that you may not want to hear. Cats cannot and never will be vegans. No matter how hard you try. It’s impossible. Read my lips, impossible. And trying to force one to be, is cruel and irresponsible. I don’t care what you’ve read or who told you otherwise, they’re wrong. Period.
I’ve harmed my cats through the years by not following their natural diets. I was wrong about that. Vegans, if you plan on have cat companions bear in mind, they need meat. Lots of it. The closer to nature the better. If you can’t do that, don’t get a cat. Try a cow or a hippo or an elephant but never a cat.
Here’s to Gomie! She’ll do well regardless of all the harm this vegan unknowingly afflicted upon her through the years.